It's not you ... it's me

I'm not anti-social, really...

The fact is that I suffer a permanent hearing loss most likely as a result of all the loud things I've done in my youth. I was diagnosed with tinnitus while still in college by an audiologist who could actually hear the bruit in my ear canals.

Put me in a crowded restaurant and the people across the table from me are no clearer and no louder than the folks several tables away.

If I'm not looking at you, chances are that I'm not hearing you, either. I come across as distracted, or disinterested ... but the fact is that I just didn't hear you and would rather not let on. It's distracting, embarrassing and frustrating on a level that makes me want to scream out loud sometimes.

The same thing happens when I'm trying to watch a movie. Frequently, I wind up leaving the room in frustration because I can't make out the dialogue when it's competing with the conversations of the extended family and the playful sounds of my children, nephew and nieces.

So ... I'm typing this in here instead of fighting a losing battle in there.

I'm not anti-social ... really.