Wednesday, June 23, 2004

"I have goats in my pants"

Have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head, and try as you might to get rid of it, it just keeps floating back up to the surface of your mind like a mafia victim too buoyant for his cement shoes? Man, I know I have, and usually it's a song to which I only know just a couple of words - and I hear those words over and over and over again until I'm ready to drive a railroad spike through my forehead to vent it out.

My friend, Craig, has a simple cure for himself whenever he finds a song stuck in his head. He would simply replace the inane tune with one he likes. Usually it only took the opening lines of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" to push out the offending ditty and he was free to think clearly again. Obviously it worked well enough that it became something of an inside joke among our circle of friends.

So what do you do when it's not a tune, per se, but a phrase? Worse than that, a complete non sequitur of the most embarrassingly goofy variety?

For the last several weeks, I have had the phrase "I have goats in my pants" bouncing around in my skull like a frantic rubber ball, waiting impatiently to find some way to insinuate itself into conversation.

[Friend] "Hey, Keith, what's new?"
[Me] I have goats in my pants "Nothing much ... how 'bout you?"

[Different Friend] "What does the Latin phrase Cogito Ergo Est mean?"
[Same Me] I have goats in my pants "I think, therefore I am."

And so on ... Personally, I'm hoping that by typing it out here in this format, I'll exorcise the phrase from my brain once and for all, but just in case:

"Step inside. Walk this way. You and me, babe. HEY HEY!"


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